Self Improvement

The self-improvement category of online training and books has become quite populated since the Internet became more popular in this century. There are many online gurus, some of long-standing, some much newer. The range of quality is quite broad, as are the different topics and approaches that are available to get engaged with. Indeed, these are problems that anyone genuinely wanting to get on with improving part of their life has to negotiate.

I started on my progress through this by deciding to try to become a bit more successful in finding a female partner back in 2011. Through Google, I found the murky world of the pickup artisits (PUA) which then led me on to another self-improvement guru, who in turn linked in with others. Looking back, the PUAs were a mixed bag, many using some psychological tricks to get women into bed rather than getting genuine relationships. Like anything there were some nuggets of good information to be found amongst the crap, things that would help in any interpersonal relationship, not just romantic/sexual ones.

After this, I started looking at various other self-help websites. The problem was, there was so much interesting stuff out there that I was constantly unearthing new ideas and gurus and would follow them. I also bought a few books and paid for some information too. Every time a good idea had settled in my mind, another guru’s words proved interesting and I was constantly jumping from one to the next. There’s a term for that in the self-help community, “shiny object syndrome.”

There are several gurus that I have followed who provide useful information; there are others who don’t. Useful is also a relative term as there are online gurus who are good at providing good information, which isn’t relevant to certain groups of people, myself included (but are still shiny objects). There are also others who will try to persuade you that their way is best, even though it isn’t a good fit. The better ones know who they can serve best and will let you know that what they offer falls within what you need.

I didn’t do a lot with the knowledge I had picked up, either the PUA stuff or with the photography business I was ostensibly trying to get off the ground. This wasn’t helped by getting involved with an American film director, who took me off course whilst having a difficult business relationship and spending my money. Certain things have stuck though and I have started to use them in life. I found it easier to approach women, although I now have the added difficulty of getting older – most of the women with compatible interests are much younger than me. I am very confident about my abilities in certain areas – engineering, ICT, baking, teaching, photography – and will happily jump between them all, either to find work or to build my skills, knowledge and portfolio for my business. I have got my websites out there as taking action is another point several of the gurus make. I have also limited what I am doing at one time. As I have several commitments – work, my dad’s house, the photography, which further breaks down to several tasks at the same time – I haven’t got as far with selling my work as I need to be. I did cut down my language learning to just Russian and put the Blender training on hold in favour of drawing, which doesn’t often get done and I am about to jump back into Blender as I want to put something together for one of the courses I teach.