Dating in 2020

Dating site logos

As my about page says, I am single and looking. Depending on how I feel or what happens, that may to change to nothing, single not looking or in a relationship.

I split up from my last long-term girlfriend in 2000 and have been intermittently looking for another relationship since. I have been on a fair few dates and had a short relationship since then. A lot of the time I haven’t been bothered as other things have become more important. I also have female friends I like spending time with for company and going to gigs with so I don’t always feel the need to add anything else.

Nowadays the thing seems to be online dating sites, even more so since Covid-19 turned the world upside down. There are a multitude of sites, some that have been around for years, some more recent, some that are general, some that are more niche. There are many that have fallen by the wayside.

Having mentioned Covid-19, I know that for some people dating online has become a thing. I can’t really get my head round the idea having an “online date” by Zoom, Skype or Messenger. Eating the same meal, watching the same video or playing a game over the screen all seem weird to me as dates.

I have actually been doing online dating since early in this century, with limited success. I’ve come to the conclusion that for most of the sites I’m a bit too out of the ordinary for the majority of women. There’s the odd site that has catered for the alternative crowd but I tend to be a lot older than most of their female clientele. I have made a few friends along the way who I still keep in contact with and meet up as friends.

There are several sites that advertise on TV and I have looked at all of them. Our Time, for older people, has a very bad set of reviews so I avoided that. eHarmony shows people on a date with “compatible” animals to imply that it has better selection than other sites however, the major selection I would like to make is for music taste, the only choice is whether you like music or not – I can’t see myself going to gigs with someone who hates metal and loves country and western or the soulless r’n’b that hits the charts. Elite Singles claims to only want professional (I am) singles and rejected my application: whether it was my hair and beard, my age or what I don’t know. Match I used years ago and I have one friend from the one date I had from there.

In the past few years, I have used Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid, a couple of veggie/vegan dating sites, Grazer and Veggly and an alternative site which I have been on for quite a while, AltScene. Grazer is a bit glitchy and I have tried to give them feedback, some of which has been acted on. Veggly is more professional and I did manage to get a compatible date from that but sadly she found someone else. AltScene got me chatting with people a long while ago but when I came back to it the responses have been nil. With the others I swipe left a lot and a lot of the people who swipe right on me that I match with (on Tinder you can often work out who has swiped right on you) either don’t bother to reply, are looking for someone to keep them or have other red flags that appear. I have had a few Tinder dates but we haven’t been compatible. The other thing about these sites is that, like a lot of other online sites, they are time thieves.

I have been taking a holiday from it all recently as I have been concentrating on doing online courses, progressing my business and getting this blog up and running. I am thinking about starting up again this weekend. Wish me luck.